Thursday, May 29, 2008

T13 #2: Reasons my Son is in Charge

My infant son, Kicker, rules the roost here.
1) When he poops, I wipe his butt. He never returns the favor.
2) Our anniversary falls on Father's day this year. Our annual romantic weekend away has turned into a day at the zoo.
3) Kicker merely has to smile at me, and I start behaving like a grinning idiot, blowing raspberries and singing.
4) I have to plan all errands around the baby's nap schedule. Bad.
5) I have to plan showers around the baby's nap schedule. Worse.
6) I have to plan bathroom breaks around the baby's nap schedule. Worst.
7) I've learned to eat almost any food one handed, so I can hold Kicker.
8) Menu planning around here consists of me pouring over a cookbook, fantasizing about what I'm going to prepare, and then in reality, fixing something that won't be ruined if Kicker has a meltdown or needs to eat during it's cooking.
9) Kicker likes to accessorize all my outfits with drool and / or spit-up.
10) And of course, no outfit is complete without the 20 lb diaper bag full of everything I might need to take care of Kicker.
11) When getting ready to go out in public, I feed Kicker, change his diaper (and, if necessary, his outfit), start to put on make-up, take care of Kicker - what's that, son? You say you a) spit up on yourself; b) messed your diaper again; c) are hungry again; or d) any combination of the above. Repeat as necessary until I give up on make-up. Don't even consider doing hair.
12) Make plans with Hubby for some (ahem) "quality time." Poor Kicker will be teething/cranky/fussy until we're too tired to even move. On the plus side, it's the safest form of birth control.
13) One smile from Kicker, and I smile, and look forward to more madness tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

LOL! When our now 12 yod was about 18 months old, she would say, "Daddy you the boss but I in charge." Too cute!

TLC said...

I remember it well. Three kids later... it doesn't get any easier, it just gets different.

My T13 is up too.
13 Songs in Heavy Rotation on TLC's iPod